The dots..

Love makes you lean towards  The most beautiful part of yourself . . . . . And as it leaves, it makes you Hate the worst that there is!

In between the five dots in between the two sentences, life happened to me. Love happened. And at the end came the hate. And like any other bad thing that’s addictive, hate stayed with me completely overshadowing the love that there was.

Are you still stuck on her? 

Why can’t you move on? 

Why don’t you see other people? 

Why can’t you be happy like others? 

It’s been a long time, why are you doing this to yourself?

It will pass. Try to sleep. Okay.

It’s okay. It’s okay. Just breathe. It’s okay.
These are some of the things I ask and tell myself. Over and over.

Do you want me to set you up with someone? 

Why don’t you try dating apps? 

You should try finding yourself. Try Yoga? 

Make a routine. Go after your dreams. 

You don’t even exist in her life. Don’t you get that?

Things were not meant to be. It happens.

She is happy and so should you be. Fuck it.

These are the things people say on my face.

He doesn’t feel like moving on. He is stuck on purpose.

No one can help him if he doesn’t want to help himself.

He likes being depressed. Why is he even here? To make us feel depressed like him?

Why would anyone stay with him? He is just sad.

He needs to talk. His presence makes me uncomfortable.

Does he need a therapist or a counselor? 

I hate his energy. 

These are the things I have heard people say on my back.

I may be stuck, depressed, sad, insomniac, socially anxious, and above all vulnerable to my core but like any other being on the planet, I live on hope. In a hope of another dot. A dot that can start another phase towards anything but hate. I live. Not for the people who genuinely care, not for those who don’t give two fucks but for me. I have become selfish. Because life can be anything but just breathing and love felt a lot better than what I feel now. 

Love.